Jokes

We don’t take credit for any of these jokes, only for putting them into pretty instagramable images that you can use.

2 antennas met on a roof and got married. The wedding was ok, but the reception was incredible.

I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.

A scarecrow got promoted because he was outstanding in his field.

It's not that I can't juggle, I just don't have the balls to do it.

I couldn't figure out how to fasten my seat belt. Then it clicked.

I bought shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day.

I found a rock that measured 1,760 yards. Must be some kind of mile stone.

The time traveler was still hungry, so he went back four seconds.

Who loves organic orange soda? Kale loves organic orange soda.

Someone gave me wrong directions to a massage parlor. It rubbed me the wrong way.

Let's just enjoy the time that's hours.

Athiests don't solve exponential equations because they don't believe in higher powers.

For a while, Houdini used a lot of trap doors in his act, but he was just going through a stage.